You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
