i permit you to call me
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
