woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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