so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i will never coherently bang her
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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