i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I think your dad took our porno
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
