she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
