I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
