apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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