I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
