why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
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They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
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I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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