Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
This is my gift to your gina
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
