Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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