thus making me awesome and them whores
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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