i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
