Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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