just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
