I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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