Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Randomize
