i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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