so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
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So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
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I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
And then my night got REAL pukey
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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