Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
