Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
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Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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