its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
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