DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
