Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I want her autograph on my taint
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
