I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize