Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
