I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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