I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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