is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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