i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
