I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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