The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
