Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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