I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
