OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Is it penis luge time yet?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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