Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize