I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
