hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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