Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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