That's intense
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
