Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
