I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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