Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
