So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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