Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
There's even glitter on my cock...
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
