love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
