Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
