Sry I called you an 8
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
