Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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