good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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