Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
