Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
