Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
The feeling are messing with the penis
My breasts were aching with rage.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize