You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
