AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
