this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You are the jesus of drinking
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
