Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
