Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
