your room smells of hookers.
And success
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
