Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
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Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
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Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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