Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
