She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
