I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
