i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
