dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Randomize
