If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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